To ate Jan

Three (3) days since the last report so I thought time for a little resurrection of sorts, a dispatch from the edge, even if you don’t need it. I feel like delivering so here goes …

The twenty-eighth day of the first month, things winding down as we gather momentum into the New Year. Between birthdays for FB & Brother1 (sib1) in bo (birth order).

Up early & I can’t figure out why. First look at the nearest time measuring appliance informed your traveller 6:18. As often the case, I take the opportunity to consider myself ‘born again’ when this happens. A legitimate, socially acceptable ‘do-over’ in a way. OK. Loosely speaking.

Last night Patty came over. I made a fab dinner of split pea soup (enhanced, think ‘on PEDs’ aka steroids). A wicked fruit salad, next think flamme pears without the flame. Coconut rum, rum chata & shredded UNSWEETENED flakes with dried crannies again marinated in the coconut rum.

I got a return call yesterday morning from Captain Morgan. Not the actual pirate captain (he’s dead & LONG GONE) but Tammy in Customer Relations with an answer to an inquiry. The flying parrot on the label of the Parrot Bay 90 proof coconut flavored rum is a white macaw. After a google search, the illustration on the label is much more, more vivid, stark, enhanced than in real life.

Still a stunning & spectacular species and appears to be quite rare for there are not that many good photos under ‘images’ for sure. Certainly nothing like that depicated on the label of the bird in flight.

In fact, I think they took some liberties & artistic license with the bird on the label myself. I am thinking MAYBE it is actually TWO birds combined for effect. Just me thinking out loud.

So last night I am working on a resume, cv & cover letter package with the telly on to the Flyers v Caps game for amusement. Quickly followed quickly by the Kings v Avs game from the left coast late.

Apparently Patty had had enough & flipped to somehting else. I was finishing up so I just let it go. This time.

It was a program on Nat Geo, Discovery or Animal Planet, IDK, doesn’t matter really.

Fans, I missed my calling. The position of ‘reproductive zoologist’ has to be the most thrilling position or occupation EVER.

The show quickly captured my attention.

The scientists were studying reproductive habits, mating & breeding patterns & the social interaction of Australian mammals.

It was a good thing this was on cable tv and out of prime time if you get my drift.

I could, almost would, like to get real graphic, borderline nasty, but can’t. I suppose some scrubbed highlights would be OK tho.

The dominant male kangeroo (alpha 1) mating process was documented in depth. Twice the size of the female, when she enters estrus naturally filling the air with pheromones every little Tom, Richard & Perry come around showing ‘interest’ & sniffing looking around for some action.

Invision a singles bar here for best anaolgy.

Alpha1 chases them off much like North American mammals such as bears, deer & such.

Even during the act, the little buggers are interrupting A1. I mention to Patty how rude that was.

Rudeness aside, the job of the videographer has to run a close second the ‘reproductive zoologist’ for most enviable job. Our boy gets right in there for a close up of where the rubber meets the road so to speak.

Without spoiling the ending for readership, the male A1’s genitalia is long & thin much like a snake & does appear to have a mind of its own as it seeks out paydirt. Kind of frightening actually putting a new twist on the term ‘whip it out’. I had to look away. Eventually.

Moving along, the koalas turn really bizzarro. I am running out of time so beware. If I suddenly stop or this report ends suddenly, I jumped into the shower for a cold one.

Interesting finding by the ‘reproductive zoologist’ (RZ) was that koalas mate EXACTLY with 40 thrusts and the final two (2) deliver the goods. Again, so to speak. EVERY TIME. I mean they STUDY this !!

The males make this wicked growling noise to summon the female that’s it’s time.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHICH IS WHICH ?

Take a little guess. The one smiling ? The one that reaches for the cigarette first ?

At this one place Down Unda, they call it a wildlife ‘santuary & research’ center, I’d call it a koala spa or resort, they drag out poor Oscar, the lone male, to collect semen and then artificially inseminate the females. I mention something to Patty about this being quite the bummer, maybe inhumane, for poor Oscar taking much joy out of being the stud koala.

Note to self: DO NOT come back as a koala.

They had a special appliance that aided in the collection of Oscar’s … juice (OJ) ? The RZ showed this little device & I IMMEDIATELY wonder if this little contraption could be reverse engineered.

I see HUGE market potential here in America for those players in fantasy football leagues & social media addicts. But I digress.

I am thinking out loud to Patty that this could be the ticket to HUGE WEALTH.

But it got worse. Our second most lucky job once again got the close up action most folks stay up late at night to watch. Not in this case. The male koala has THEE most unusual tool one could ever imagine. This truly falls into the category of ‘alien technology’. All I am going to say is that it has more than one head. And less than five (5).

That's todays image. The vulgar little koala. When I 0saw that histograph of the tool, I am thinking maybe even DAYMARES. Think nightmare but in the daylight waking hours. Perhaps PTSD. I'll never be able to look at a koala again & not laugh. I'm sorry. End of the Innocense.

After the last close up, I commanded Patty to change channels as I was not going to have nightmares about this.

OK.

Thanks it for 28 Jan.

Long list of laundry items to address this day. Weather report is promising. Sunny & warm.

And the sun is now officially up.

Let’s get after it shall we ?

On three.

1-2-3 …

THURSDAY !!