O 19
It was a crisp Autumn morning and it was with much anticipation that I awoke for today I am off to the fair. The Great State Fair of Texas as proclaimed daily my Big Tex himself. He has not only me convinced but apparently a few others as well.
I skip the workout this morning and get right to packing for the trip out.
The day bag from the company conference in 2006 that I presented at with the old cactus logo outdated but this too should be replaced soon. Besides, it is light and I won’t be carrying much this day.
The gates open at 10:00 am so I plan my departure time accordingly and avoid the Thursday rush hour traffic. NOTHING WORSE than having to deal with thousands of zombies distracted driving to dreadful jobs because they have to.
I make a few calls but otherwise save the power on the dumb-phone in case of an emergency.
Arriving at the station, I make my first mistake. No. It’s NOT a mistake more accurately an error. I part too far away from the entrance. But I can walk so I do. So see, ‘mistake’ is way too strong and abusive.
I seek the aid of a LBW with her name tattooed boldly on her left calf. Of her leg not to introduce any confusion.
‘Help me with this por favor? I don’t have time to lose.’ (lyrics by Rory Gallagher …)
‘Sure, I can hep you’. She proceeds to make the credit card tranny swift & painless.
‘Thank you Erika.’ (Situational Awareness 101) and I make my way briskly to the train which is loading for departure.
There is no problem finding a choice seat as Parker Road in Plano is the terminus of the DART light rail line so I select strategically & wisely. In such a case one does NOT wish to have an active shooter pop up from behind. NEVER take chances when such things can be avoided.
We depart on schedule. Two stops later the carriage is filling up. Mostly older whites, a few younger ones, no kiddies and no blacks. Yet. I KNOW this is temporary & will change as we get closer to downtown.
I have a window seat which leaves the aisle open and Dave sits down just as I am about to get out my magazine and plug in my ear buds. We start to chat it up starting with ‘what we do’ … (TONTO !!)
I produce my ‘artist’ card then after Dave either feigns or shows sincere interest, I get out the brochure and then more to the phone as I keep force feeding him more.
Dave is retired but functions as a handyman with a specialty. He worked primarily with & for churches doing odd handyman-type jobs but the ‘specialty’ was setting up ‘security key’ systems. Now this is interesting so pay a little attention por favor as it is a little complicated for the first or casual reader.
I press the inquiry. With abbreviation, he designs and resets all the locks to minimize the number of keys required by church personnel to access their respective areas and keep out the hoi polloi from restricted areas. Kind of cool & interesting. His partner, wingman & running buddy this day is Don who I shake hands with across the aisle awkwardly.
We arrive downtown at the transfer point and hang together on the platform. Dave says I can ‘tag along with them to the Fair’ and I tell my first lie of the day. ‘Sure’
Bill does NOT ‘tag along’. Bill BLAZES the trail, seeks out and destroys if required.
At Fair Park stop, we exit and immediately get separated. ‘Tagging along’ was suddenly not an issue, option, concern OR consideration because I had never seen so many old people in one place at one time. EVER. Even when I call on Martha at the old folks home. And they ALL seem to have gray beards, balls caps and are in pairs. Hijo de puta AND figlio di puttana (see the similarity between Espanol & Italiano ?)
So Free at Last (King:68), I begin my days State Fair excursion. Herding thru admission was swift and painless once again. And then ‘security.’ I MUST empty my pockets, proceed thru the airport scanner but look innocent before allowing Curious George a peak in my bag. It is clear to me that ‘security’ is a job creation vehicle but as I am thinking and walking thru the metal detector, the things lights up.
Hijo de puta AND figlio di puttana x2.
I get glances and glares 360. In the haste, I could not extract my keys from a remote pocket quick enough and it sets the thing off.
‘Over here Sir.’ Another security ‘agent’ (kindly) runs a wand over my person and near my most private zone goes off.
‘Keys. I couldn’t get them out in time.’ I give the awkward smile, filed deep next to the ‘awesome’ smile and move thru avoiding jail and any additional confrontation with ‘security’.
I stretch and take a deep breath as I am now here, on site and making the scene.
The walkway is a paved pathway under a spectacular canopy of old shade trees put there exactly for this purpose and I am reminded of Chichen-Itza processing thru admissions & ticketing and then BANG. You get thru the trees and there is the breathtaking & overwhelming El Castillo.
This is Fair Park, Dallas, 75002, 19 October 2017 I remind myself. I am thinking maybe, just perhaps I had an out-of-body experience.
My first priority is coupons early to get that nasty but necessary little tasking out of the way. Set the budget and be done with that as well.
My first set of choices lie directly straight ahead. Two ticket booths. There is a long line at one and the waiters in line already looked frazzled. The agents look challenged & pissed off that they have to make change.
The second booth, two windows, ONE (1) person in line, NO AGENTS !! It is taking credit cards and I see the AmEx logo and my decision is immediately made if not sooner.
A chubby little young lady jumps in front of me or maybe I yielded to her so she could trip the land mines but more likely to observe what & how she made the tranny. In seconds she had sheets, SHEETS of tickets. Took her card & was off.
‘That was easy’ I said to her. See gave me an ugly look which I ignored and kept unceremoniously quiet & still proceeding to make my own transaction purchasing sixty ($60) worth of coupon/tickets to be used as cash for beverage(s) & food.
Guess what?
IT WAS EASY !!
Let the adventure now officially begin.
Strolling stage left, two things catch my eye. Music & dancers and a flag sign flapping ‘WWI 100 Year Anniversary.’ Perfect. It is shortly after 10, not 10:30. I just had breakfast and a bit too early for a cerveza even for me on this Holiday. (remember 19 is a PRIME number !!)
The music in the air is for the purple capped dancer and he has a female admirer of perhaps Family that joins him shufflin or rockin' out. The music is way too loud and PC Dude is just shuffling his feet to the small crowd seemingly without regard to the rhythm, beat or tempo.
The banner at the DAR building says this exhibit opens at 11:00 so I experience a set-back. Rather than wait on the stoop for the building to open, I continue motion & stroll to the nearest building, Centennial and it is full of cars & people.
This will be a short visit I am thinking as my interest in such things is marginal if not non-existent on a good day.
Suddenly I am now thirsty and get a flashback how nice a cold beer would be. The cool stabbing and the bitter nectar slides down the gullet.
I spot a food court with neon beer signs and wander nonchalantly over only to see a disgusting sign ‘Jack & coke.’
Why pollute the Coke ? Where’s the Maker’s ?
I am digressing as high caliber spirits are NOT on the agenda this day. That is for a good day at home. Beer for the tickies.
I break into the sunshine and am blinded by the brightness. When I recover, I am suddenly on the midway.
Not on my itinerary.
I avoid the barkers staying in the narrow zone in the center as far away as possible from both sides at the same time.
I spot the Red & White Beer Barn … a true oasis this day and right now.
There are seats in the shade and NO LINE. I can’t get the tickets out fast enough and a Shiner is six, SIX coupons (= $3 US) !!
I have found a home as the tickets will last and I will run down & out and still have tickets left so I must now be cautious. I find a beautiful place to sit in the shade and do just that.
I watch with amusement the rascal road rally and the darting fat people trading paint in an ballet of sorts. NASCAR should sponsor such events where the jockey MUST weigh in over 300 pounds to qualify. I got some discrete images from this location of the racers and even a chick pix before striking up a chat with Kevin.
His female companion was wearing a Bauer ball cap so I ax him if he plays hockey. It turns out he & his ‘friend’ both play and in Richardson no less. So we have stories and he actually knew Br13 our line center Ira G.
Kevin was from Montreal and we could have gone on longer but his girlfriend came back and she looked like her panties had wadded up suddenly. He excused himself and I got another beer this time a Especial from Modelo. Two cervezas and I have coupons left on the same sheet !!
This is quickly becoming too good to be true so I take the semi-refill and begin to wander once again. I am near so I hit the WWI exhibit now open. The hostess, a slender older woman and attractive to warrant a second longer look axes me if I would like a cupcake.
Not really but I take one anyway.
She has a warm smile and magnetic dark blue eyes.
I choke down the little cake and after a brief exchange of pleasantries move along. WWI was a brutal war. The gear was designed strictly for killing the enemy close up and personal.
There was a very cool display of old flags above which was worthy of another
image. In the gift shop, I asked for a manager with an idea for a fund raising vehicle. Sell refrigerator magnets of 3 x 5 replica stickers of the older flags for cars.
I told the one attendant I would buy a couple and thought a red-white striped with 13 stars would be cool to display on my car.
She wrote down the info and I left before that ‘he’s f*****g crazy’ look showed up in her eyes.
Moving along now I find a commercial tent where the pin vendor has a booth of … PINS !!
The display and collection is fascinating. The tiny little pins are for just about every sports team, nation, military unit, event … you name it, this guy has a pin. Olympic pins, flags.
I see a classy block C garnet Gamecock pin and buy it. Then a second one on impulse. I did some Christmas shopping so mum & dummy up here. See some image(s) once they are deemed ‘safe’. Not going to risk spoiling any surprises.
The combination of wisely shopping and having a few beers under my belt has my spirits lifted and I feel some food is in order so I can have one or two more beers safely.
I start shopping around and find two places with turkey legs. One has ‘jumbo’ for 28 tickets and another for 26 tickets. Big deal. So I call off the search and get one at the next stand and look for a shady quiet spot to sit and pick it clean.
I stroll up around the bend near the old ice rink, Home of the Freeze, and I see at a table, location perfect, Don & Dave !!
I give them the business and sit down. I let Don hold the turkey leg while I grab now a craft beer RIGHT THERE next to the table & sitting area. It was like these guys were waiting for me. See the image.
I get up after finishing and find another fun couple. A her & him item and I am thinking this gal knows
how to see the Fair. Her man-tool is pushing her around in a wheel chair. Feet up, beers in drink holders.
I make a smart aleck comment, we engage and it is GAME ONE for a high-energy giggle, laugh & fun-fest.
I bust her for having the ultimate chariot & steed and she QUICKLY points out she twisted her ankle last night but really, REALLY wanted to go the the Fair and this was the ONLY way. Her right foot was swollen and a collage of color.
They were most def a ‘fun couple.’ After a couple of quick pix, we parted and I had to fizz and found a banos just before Flo-max had its moment.
I wandered back by the table and Dave & Don were still there. They had gotten a SECOND beer and apparently had seen enough of the 2017 Fair & were quite happy there in the shade.
Finishing mine I got up again to finish my walk and who do I run into AGAIN but Mr & Mrs Fun. I bust them AGAIN this time for stalking me.
That’s about it. I make my way to the train and the ride home. I do not want to be out wandering around to much after dark so I am good.
I have already decided that next year I am going to EVERY Thursday until I get sick or tired of the Fair. It was that much fun.
The End.
