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Greetings Phans from the cloud this day. Dark, dull, dank and dreadful as the air hangs heavy. Kind of like someone has died and I am sure someone has but I don’t know who.

Back from a hectic stretch and happy to report all is well.

FILL IN YOUR ADORING MASSES OGO. POR FAVOR …

Of course.

BRIEFLY PF.

PF? You’re now comfy abbreviating your Spanish? Good for you.

I am relishing a cup of hot coffee this morning as I press fingers to the keypad trying to sort it all out THEN spin it up into a thrilling after-story.

Let me see … when we really & truly LAST left Bill, he had arrived home from a successful art show in Houston. The Woodlands actually.

He was resting comfortably watching a Father Brown dvd when these two (2 dos) women burst into a home invastion brandishing a 9mm glock, an AK-47 assault rifle and each carrying a sawed off shotgun over belts of bullets and grenades crossed over diminutive shoulders.

In the drive was a innocuous white cargo van and I was led out in the darkness at gun point and told to get in and drive.

‘OK. Where?’

‘We’re headed to the border with this contraband’ said the dark haired Thelma.

‘And no more questions. We’ll do the talking. You listen and obey and you won’t get hurt’ said Louise.

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU WERE ACTUALLY KIDNAPPED BY THELMA AND LOUISE?

Por favor do NOT get ahead of me. I am crunched for time.

So we drove off into the night towards the border.

WHICH ONE?

I don’t know and couldn’t ask.

So after about an hour of so we stopped at a Starbucks for coffee.

‘Oh no!! Anywhere but a Starbucks. They don’t know how to make coffee.’

Louise pressed the AK-47 to my temple taking the keys and handcuffing me to the steering wheel.

They came back with two skinny, vanilla pumpkin lattes, grande and one (1) small cup of the bitter, burned mud Starbucks apparently is famous for and simply thrills the masses with but initiates a retching gastric response even now as I mention it.

While they are inside I twist for a look at the load of contraband. There are long boxes of infant formula, bags of corn, wheat and rice and boxes labeled with canned beans, tomatoes and various other food items. But I KNOW better.

Thelma caught me looking and once inside the cab pulled out the glock and said the goods were for their church and they were on a mission of mercy.

‘Sure. For Our Lady of the Exit Wound?’

‘Shud up drive.’

So I did.

After about 5 or 6 hours, Louise says ‘When we get close to the border, we are going to stop and unload this and you are going to take the van back to the rental place in Dallas. But not before we load15-20 refugees or possible terrorists.’

‘They won’t all fit.’ I protest but only briefly as the AK-47 reappears from the darkness. ‘Besides, I don’t even know where the rental place is?’

‘All the instructions are written down on a sheet of paper in the glove box. We thought of everything.’ smiled Louise.

‘It’s the honor system’ smiled Thelma.

Did she have to wave that glock so close to his head?

When I heard ‘honor system’ I KNEW that was my get out of jail card.

So that pretty much ended my career of drug running, smuggling and trafficking in human cargo.

I have a few days off and I am really not sure exactly what my next major planned activity is especially iffen it rains.

So MANY things need to be done. There is laundry going so clean sheets tonight which I fully expect will have the phone ringing off the hook.

Cleaning, organizing and tidying up as that circus NEVER leaves town.

I have orders for a couple of corkboards and a monarch butterfly to fill. I have never done a butterfly let alone a monarch. S/b fun.

I gotta go.

My AADD is kicking in and I can’t find those meds, I ‘misplaced’ my Alz meds and my anti-depressants are NO WHERE to be found.