XX julio

Apologies go flying out to the dedicated & loyal dozen plus readers and charter members. Perhaps I shall dub you … Founding Father's.

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. SUCH GENDER SPECIFICITY IS VERBOTEN. IT'S THE 21ST CENTURY. GET WITH IT.

Perhaps YOU need to get with it Ms Woke 2020.

YOU can be fired, erased or unsubscribed at MY discretion or whim AND replaced at any moment. Don't YOU forget THAT por favor. I mean I like you and everything but keep in mind YOU are disposable and no matter how YOU cut it, WE are ALL Temps here and prisoners if not careful enough.

So give me a moment to shift gears and let my bp med work & settle down to the task at hand.

Family business had me oot for a few days.

NOTHING SERIOUS I HOPE.

Personal Family business as in private. Don't go moronic on me.

So a summer addiction for cherry ice cream hit me recently for today's adventure in levity.

Since my local K-roget stopped carrying Graeter's dark cherry (with chocolate chips) ice cream some years ago, the search has been on for a suitable replacement or substitute as I REALLY needed a fix. Graeter's has to be thee best ice cream available on the planet and the only other flavor remotely close is the coconut chocolate chip. If you know of the Graeter's chocolate chips, you know what I'm talking about. On a recent road trip to Cincinnati, the SF giants broadcasters had some in the booth for an unsolicited testimonial. That I found quite cool. (sorry)

Local favorite ice cream joint Braum's no lick… luck. When we go to Braum's, the ONLY option or flavor choice is the strawberry. HUGE whole fruit, iced cold, untouchable in December.

Another local option would be Handel's. They carry a respectable dark cherry and make a decent single-scoop cone but for two (or more) guests one can purchase a 1.9L (half-gallon) AND a box of cake cones and treat self AND FRIENDS for a week. The last time I stopped in I was craving peach ice cream. Not listed as an available flavor so I asked the little girl.

'They aren't in season.'

I had JUST PICKED peaches in Fannin County THAT DAY.

Not in season? I asked to speak to the manager but he wasn't in and I got a card on another issue.

Anyway, I'm drifting off topic.

So while perusing frozen food section again at local K-roget, I spot regional fav Blue Bell, in a red carton, Cherry Vanilla.

Could prayers be answered yet again or dreams become reality?

YES?

Well, no. I'm almost finished. Wait for it. Por favor.

I make the purchase. Get home, open the container and the cherries are … red.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

The shade of red is fire truck. Think maraschino cherry red. And sweet, think added sugar. To make their Cherry Vanilla, the folks in Brenham buy a 55-gallon drum of red as in dyed and thoroughly processed MARASCHINO cherries. I mean they are brined, bleached, dyed and then sweetened. NOT what I had in mind and was looking for.

So the search WILL CONTINUE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THE ICE CREAM NOW?

Disposing of it properly. It’s not great but it isn’t toxic or contaminated you dingbat.

I GUESS IT'S AN ARTIST THING.

It IS an artist thing.